Questions, Thoughts, Wonderings...

I need a job. Not because of the money but because it may keep me sane cause I don't think I can handle much more of having way to much time on my hands to think. Thinking never does me any good, I know what goes on in my head would probably worry most people, so that's why most don't know.
I thought this went away but apparently it didn't cause I feel the way I did years ago. And nothing happened so what caused it? That's what I don't understand.
I thought maybe I was finally okay that it went away, on its own? Maybe it don't go away on its own.
My anxiety is back, I can handle the anxiety but it gets pretty bad some days. But I try and control it and I do ok with that on my own, sometimes, sometimes not.
People have told me over the years that maybe I should try therapy, and sometimes I wonder if their right? Would counseling actually help? I guess I'll never know unless I actually try it.
But that requires an income so it all goes back to needing a job to keep me sane, its a never ending cycle.
When does it stop?