Over the last few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking once again about my life. Everybody has this idea of how life is suppose to be like, I use to but then I realized that it don't do any good wondering what your life would be like, if things would have gone differently. All you can do, is be something now in the moment, for now that's all there is now. Its good to have a plan but plans don't always work out how you want I have currently realized this.
So no more plans, I know what I want and I will eventually get there, probably not when I want to, but eventually. I am currently looking for a job which I am hoping to find one considering summer is coming up and jobs always open up for the summer. And with a little luck I'll get one and this whole check will disappear far far away.
Also recently it's been decided that I am going to be having a roommate in the next few months, and as much as I know she would be safe here, I am still a little off about the whole thing, because it wasn't until recently that her and I started talking. So part of me wonders if that is why she started talking or if she actually wanted to. We're going to half everything, my room, my closet, my car, the bills. And with the plan she has and my family it SOUNDS good, but will it work? I don't know its like my life has been planned the whole part of the way. I don't understand it, I know parents are supposed to have plans for kids. Is this supposed to be the way to supposed to be? I don't think so. I know what they want for me but its not what I want for myself. And I don't know how to be who I need to be without disappointing them, so I'm confused on what to do, because I don't want to disappoint them. How am I supposed to be me, when they want me to be something else? And this is just another part of it. So how my supposed to be happy with it, when it's somebody else's plan?
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